Misplaced
by Lady Henrietta
Summary: One-shot: A transporter prank goes awry when Tom Paris botches his scheme.


Disclaimer: Star Trek and all its characters belong to Paramount studios. There is also a reference to the Twilight Zone's, "To Serve Man."

Misplaced

Lieutenant Tom Paris and Ensign Harry Kim hovered over the transporter computer in the room. "I don't think this is such a good idea," Harry said with his usual skepticism.

Tom laughed. "Oh come on, Harry. All we're going to do is beam some empty boxes from Cargo Bay Two into Chakotay's room. It's April Fools' Day back on earth and we're just having a little fun," he persuaded, glancing up at a screen. Harry was not yet convinced.

"What if something goes wrong?" he asked.

"What could possibly go wrong?" Tom asked smugly. After working with the console, he hit a button and watched from the security screen what resulted from the action. "Uh-oh," he breathed, looking up at the screen.

"What did you do?" Harry accused.

Tom shut down the console and the camera, beginning to head for the door. He turned back to Harry. "We've got to get out of here now. I think I accidentally beamed Captain Janeway into Chakotay's quarters," he relayed as they ran from the transporter room back to their own rooms.

Captain Kathryn Janeway craned her neck from side to side with no avail to the oncoming headache. She walked over to her bed and faced the wall before she sat down, not even noticing the blue transporter beam. She wore a pink bathrobe over her pajamas.

"Good grief. Whatever B'elana found, one glass would have been enough. I'm never drinking that stuff again," she said to herself. A sleepy moan came from the other side of the bed.

"Oh? Yeah that stuff was really strong. Goodnight, Kathryn," he said as he turned to face the wall, his head not being clear enough to know he was not dreaming.

Kathryn's head was just as clouded as she lay down on the bed in her bathrobe, on top of the blankets. "Good night, Chakotay."

An alarm clock woke her from a deep groggy sleep. As she reached over and turned it off, a perplexed expression sat on her face. "Since when did I move my alarm to the other side of the bed? Hey, I don't remember putting all those Native American decorations on my wall, and why did I sleep in my bathrobe?" she asked herself, still feeling groggy and lethargic. She walked over to the closet to find a uniform. "Hey, these aren't even my size. Whose closet is this?"

"It's my closet," Chakotay sleepily replied, groggy as well. He got up and walked over to her. "I still can't think straight this morning," he paused and looked at her. "Kathryn, aren't you supposed to be somewhere else?"

Kathryn nodded and faced him. "Chakotay, how did I get here?" she inquired.

Chakotay scratched his head and tried to think. "I have no idea. Nice pink bathrobe by the way," he teased. She blushed.

"Thanks. Nice plaid pajamas by the way," she retaliated. He laughed and tried to remember the events of the previous evening.

"The last thing I remember before I went to sleep is you talking about that stuff we all drank yesterday. I thought you were a dream though," he remarked.

"Well, I'm going to beam myself back to my quarters before the rumor mill learns about this," she said with a smirk.

At that moment the light switched on in Chakotay's mind. "Wait a minute! What if somebody beamed you here?" he hypothesized.

"What idiot would dare to do that?" she pointed out.

"I think yesterday was April Fool's Day on Earth. And as far as I know, there are only two people on this ship that would remember a day as an excuse to play jokes," he explained.

"Tom and Harry," they said simultaneously.

"Let's find a way to give them a taste of their own medicine," Kathryn recommended, heading toward the door.

Chakotay nodded. "I like that idea. But aren't you forgetting something?" he asked, looking at her. She looked down and laughed.

"That's right. I was going to beam back to my quarters. I wouldn't want to appear on the bridge like this," she stated as she beamed out of his room.

Later in the mess hall, Kathryn and Chakotay were eating lunch and scheming. "What if we beam them directly to the brig?" Kathryn suggested.

"No. We need to think of something more creative. Maybe we could use the holodeck and turn it into an alien prison," Chakotay mentioned.

Kathryn shook her head. Abruptly she faced him. "I know exactly what we could do," she smiled mischievously and leaned closer, "listen."

Tom and Harry suspected nothing. They were walking through the hallway when they beamed on to the bridge of an alien ship. The paunchy, brown leathery-skinned alien in what they assumed was the captain's chair stood up and approached them.

"We are very impressed by your excellent abilities regarding the transporters. Therefore, you _will_ fix our transporters. If you serve us, we won't have to serve you," he stated, escorting them over to the transportation device.

"Nice going, Harry," Tom stated.

Harry raised an eyebrow. "Hey, it wasn't my idea. It was yours. And what did he mean when he said, 'we won't have to serve you?'"

"That means if we do a good job they won't eat us," Tom whispered.

Harry's eyes widened. "I can't believe this! I can see my epitaph now: 'Here lie the bones of Harry Kim floating in space; he was gnawed to death by hostile aliens!" he shouted.

Tom put a hand around Harry's mouth. "Do you want to die now?" Harry shook his head and Tom let him go. Just as they reached the console, the alien captain approached them.

"It is important in our culture to exercise before we fix things. Therefore, you _will_ honour us by doing twenty push-ups each and fifty jumping jacks after," the alien gruffly ordered.

Tom and Harry obediently complied. The alien captain glared at them. "My mother could do better than that, but we are running out of time. Fix this now!" he bellowed. After a few futile attempts to even understand the device, Tom turned to the alien.

"Look, the truth is that we were only playing with the one on our ship. We have no idea how to fix yours. This whole mix-up is my fault, just please send Harry back," Tom offered.

To his surprise, the alien smiled. "Thank you for being honest, Mr. Paris. Computer, end program," the alien remarked, sounding like Chakotay. The whole room reverted back to the cube-lined holodeck and the image of the alien captain faded to reveal Chakotay. Kathryn stepped out from the back of the room.

"Well, gentlemen? What have you to say for your actions last night?" Kathryn questioned.

Tom and Harry looked at each other, then faced her. "It was all my fault. Harry told me it was a bad idea. We were trying to beam some empty containers into the commander's room and I hit the wrong button. It was an accident and we're sorry," Tom conveyed.

"Well, you two are fortunate that we aren't mad. I'm letting you off with a warning this time. Watch your backs, gentlemen. As far as this year is concerned, April Fools' Day lasts for two days, dismissed," she relayed.

Chakotay turned to Kathryn as they exited the holodeck. "Now that we solved that problem, how about a formal dinner at an Italian café tomorrow night?" he offered.

She smiled. "I would be happy to join you," she paused and that mischievous grin was back. "Since it's a formal dinner, I take it that means no plaid pajamas?" she teased. He chuckled.

"It also means no pink bathrobes," he joked. She laughed and sighed.

"Do you want anything in particular for dinner?" Chakotay asked.

"No, but I don't want-" he interrupted her.

"whatever B'elana found," he finished. They laughed as they headed toward the bridge.

End.


End file.
